Quick Guide: The Created Order of Your Life

Overview of the Topic

Just as there are laws of physics that govern how planes fly and buildings stand, there are principles built into how life works. Dr. Cloud calls this the "created order" — the way God designed life to function. When we understand these principles and align our lives with them, things work better. When we violate them — often without realizing it — we experience confusion, frustration, and stuck places in our growth.

This isn't about following religious rules. It's about understanding how life actually operates. Every problem you face, every growth challenge you encounter, can be traced back to one of these foundational principles. And here's the crucial insight: each principle involves both God's role and your role. Problems arise when we try to play God's role, or when we expect God to do what He's designed us to do.

These six principles form a framework for understanding why certain approaches to life work and others don't — and why the "answers within" approach to self-help so often leaves us stuck.

What Usually Goes Wrong

We try to be our own source. The self-help industry tells us "the answer is within" and that we need to love ourselves first before we can love others. But no one becomes a loving person by generating love from nothing. Every loving person was first loved from the outside. When we try to produce what we need from within ourselves — strength, wisdom, healing — we end up depleted.

We try to go it alone. We tell ourselves we don't want to be a burden, or that we should be able to handle things ourselves. We isolate when we're struggling, precisely when we most need connection. We treat community as optional when it's actually foundational.

We wait for God to do our part. Some people spiritualize passivity: "Let go and let God." But God gave you talents, resources, and abilities that He expects you to use. Waiting for Him to do what He's equipped you to do isn't faith — it's avoidance.

We make our own rules. We decide which principles apply to us and which don't. We rationalize our way around inconvenient truths. Then we're surprised when life doesn't work the way we want.

We become the judge. We evaluate ourselves constantly: "How am I doing? Was that good enough? Did I fail again?" We do the same to others. Instead of experiencing life and relationships, we're always grading them. This splits our attention and keeps us from both intimacy and excellence.

We try to control everything except ourselves. The more out of control we feel internally, the more we try to control externally — other people, outcomes, circumstances. This makes us anxious and makes others want to avoid us. Meanwhile, the one thing we can control — ourselves — remains neglected.

What Health Looks Like

A person living in alignment with the created order:

• Starts the day with dependence, not self-sufficiency. They ask God for help with specific things they'll face. They don't try to generate their own strength.

• Prioritizes connection over productivity. They know that relationships aren't a reward for getting things done — they're the foundation that makes everything else possible.

• Uses what they have. They don't wait for perfect conditions or more resources. They take their talents, skills, and opportunities and put them to work. They understand that their job is to be faithful with what God provides.

• Aligns with truth even when it's inconvenient. They don't make exceptions for themselves. When they recognize a principle they've been violating, they adjust — not out of fear, but because they've learned that God's ways actually work.

• Lives from experience, not evaluation. They can be present in moments without constantly grading themselves. In relationships, they're curious about others rather than critical. They've learned to notice their feelings without immediately judging them.

• Surrenders what they can't control. They've made peace with the limits of their influence. They don't exhaust themselves trying to change other people. They focus their energy on the one person they can actually change: themselves.

This isn't perfection — it's a direction. Growth means increasingly living this way, not arriving at some flawless standard.

Key Principles

1. God is the source of life — your role is to depend on Him. Everything you need comes from outside yourself. Wisdom, strength, healing, love — these are received, not manufactured. People who try to do life without depending on God and others end up starving.

2. Relationship is primary in everything. Man was not meant to be alone. Whether you're trying to grow, heal, find meaning, or solve problems, you need connection. Teams outperform individuals. Recovery happens in community. Get plugged in first, then tackle your challenges from that place of strength.

3. God provides resources — your role is to use them. God gives talents, skills, opportunities, and abilities. Your job is to take those and be fruitful with them. "Let go and let God" doesn't mean God does everything for you. Work out your salvation — it's a partnership.

4. God makes the rules — your role is to obey them. You can trace almost any problem in life back to somewhere God's principles were violated (by you or someone else). This isn't legalism — it's recognition that His ways actually work. Treat others as you want to be treated covers most of it.

5. God is the judge — your role is to experience life. When you become the judge of yourself, you split your attention and lose functioning. The best performers get into "flow" by losing themselves in the experience rather than evaluating it. The same applies to relationships — judgment kills intimacy. Stop grading; start living.

6. God is in control — your role is to surrender and gain self-control. When you stop trying to control others and outcomes, you gain the only control you were meant to have: control of yourself. The serenity prayer captures this: change what you can, accept what you can't, and develop the wisdom to know the difference.

Practical Application

This week, try these:

1. Start each morning by identifying where you need help. Don't just pray generally — name the specific situations where you'll need wisdom, strength, or courage. Then ask for it throughout the day. Track how this changes your experience.

2. Audit your support system. Who are the people you turn to when things get hard? If that list is short or nonexistent, that's your first problem to solve. Make one phone call this week to connect with someone who's been through something similar to what you're facing.

3. Identify one talent or resource you've been sitting on. What has God given you that you're not using? Not someday — this week, take one step to put it to work. Stop waiting for perfect conditions.

4. Catch yourself judging. For one day, notice how often you evaluate yourself: "That was stupid." "Did I do okay?" "They probably think I'm..." Each time you catch it, redirect your attention back to the experience itself. Just notice what's happening without grading it.

5. Name what you've been trying to control that isn't yours. Someone else's choices? An outcome you can't guarantee? Write it down. Then ask: what's the one thing I actually can control in this situation? Focus there.

Common Questions & Misconceptions

"Isn't depending on God just a crutch? Shouldn't I be strong enough on my own?" That's precisely the lie that keeps people stuck. No human being becomes healthy, loving, or wise by generating it from nothing. Every healthy person received what they needed from outside themselves first — from God and from others. Dependence isn't weakness; it's how life is designed to work.

"If God provides everything, why do I have to work so hard?" Because He designed you to be a partner, not a passenger. God provides the raw materials — talents, resources, opportunities. You provide the effort to use them. A parent provides food and clothes, but the child still has to clean their room and do their homework. Growth requires both provision and participation.

"I've been taught that judging is wrong, but don't I need to evaluate myself to improve?" There's a difference between self-evaluation and self-judgment. Evaluation says, "Did that match my values? Let me adjust." Judgment says, "I'm terrible. I always fail. What's wrong with me?" One leads to growth; the other leads to shame spirals. Evaluate your actions; stop condemning your soul.

"Isn't surrendering control just passive resignation?" No — it's the opposite. Resignation says, "Nothing matters, so why try?" Surrender says, "I'll stop exhausting myself on what I can't change so I can focus my energy on what I can." Surrendering control of others and outcomes actually increases your ability to control yourself and take meaningful action.

"This sounds like a lot of rules. I thought grace meant I didn't have to follow rules." The created order isn't a list of religious rules — it's a description of how life actually works. Gravity isn't a rule you follow; it's a reality you live within. When you understand how things work and align yourself with that reality, life goes better. That's not legalism; it's wisdom.

Closing Encouragement

If you're reading this because something in your life isn't working, there's good news: you're not broken, and this isn't random. There's an order to how life works, and once you see it, you can begin to align with it.

You don't have to figure this out alone — in fact, you can't. That's the whole point. God designed you to depend on Him and to grow in relationship with others. Your job isn't to be perfect; it's to keep moving in the right direction. Start with one principle. Notice where you've been reversing the roles. Make one adjustment this week.

The created order isn't a standard to measure yourself against — it's a map to help you find your way. You're not being graded. You're being invited into a better way of living.