Recognizing and Responding to Emotional Abuse

Reflection & Prayer Prompts

If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

A Note Before You Begin

These prompts are designed to help you process your experiences privately. You may be at the very beginning of recognizing what's happening, or you may be further along in your healing journey. Either way, there's no rush.

Be gentle with yourself. These questions may bring up strong emotions. You don't need to answer them all at once. Return to the ones that feel most alive. If something becomes overwhelming, pause and ground yourself — or reach out to a trusted person.

Your feelings are real. Your experiences matter. You are not alone.

Personal Reflection Questions

Seeing Clearly

1. When you first heard the four patterns of emotional abuse — isolation, control, shaming, domination — which ones stirred something in you? What came to mind?

2. How has your world changed since being in this relationship? What have you stopped doing? Who have you drifted from? How has your sense of self shifted?

3. Think about how you feel after spending time with this person. Do you generally feel better about yourself and life, or worse? What does that tell you?

4. What do you tell yourself to explain or excuse their behavior? ("They don't mean it." "It's not that bad." "They had a hard childhood.") Where did those explanations come from?

5. Have there been times you questioned your own perception — wondering if you were crazy, too sensitive, or remembering things wrong? What was happening when you felt that way?

6. If someone you loved was experiencing what you're experiencing, what would you want them to see? What would you tell them?

Understanding Yourself

7. When you think about speaking up, setting a limit, or leaving, what fear rises in you? Name it specifically. What's the worst thing you imagine happening?

8. What patterns from your past might make it harder to recognize or respond to what's happening now? How might your history be affecting your current situation?

9. What do you need that you're not getting? Safety? Respect? Freedom? Equality? Kindness? Be honest about what's missing.

10. In what ways have you been a good partner to yourself — and in what ways have you abandoned yourself to keep the peace?

Moving Forward

11. Who in your life sees clearly and would support you if you shared more of what's happening? If no one comes to mind, where might you find such a person?

12. What's one small step you might be ready to take — not necessarily the final answer, but just the next step? It might be telling someone, calling a hotline, seeing a counselor, or simply acknowledging to yourself that something is wrong.

13. What does hope look like for you? If things were different, what would your life feel like? Let yourself imagine it without editing.

Guided Prayer Language

These prayers are offered as starting points. Adapt them to your own words. Prayer is honest conversation, not performance.

Prayer for Clarity

God, I don't know what to think anymore. I've been confused for so long. Sometimes I think I'm the problem. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overreacting. I can't always tell what's real.

Give me clarity. Help me see what's actually happening — not what I've been told to see, not what I'm afraid to see, but what's true. Help me trust my own perceptions again. Show me what you see when you look at this situation.

I don't want to be in denial, but I don't want to assume the worst either. I just want to see clearly. And if what I'm seeing is real, give me the courage to face it.

Be with me. I need wisdom that I don't have on my own.

Amen.

Prayer for Protection

God, I don't feel safe. Not always. I've learned to walk on eggshells, to manage someone else's moods, to shrink myself to avoid conflict. And I'm tired.

Protect me. Not just from harm, but from the belief that I deserve to be treated this way. Protect my sense of self that's been eroded. Protect my hope that things can be different.

Send me people who see clearly and will stand with me. Help me find safe spaces — physical and emotional — where I can breathe. Show me the resources I don't know about yet.

And if there are steps I need to take to protect myself, give me the courage to take them. Not perfectly, not all at once, but one step at a time.

Amen.

Prayer for Healing

God, I'm wounded. Things have been said and done that have left marks — on my heart, my mind, my sense of who I am. Some of those wounds I've carried so long I barely notice them anymore.

Begin the work of healing in me. Not to pretend nothing happened, but to process what happened and come out the other side. Help me grieve what I've lost. Help me see that the messages I've received aren't the truth about me.

I know healing takes time, and I'm not asking for it all tonight. But start something. Help me believe that healing is actually possible — that I'm not permanently damaged by this.

And in the meantime, hold me together. Be the steady presence when everything else feels unsteady.

Amen.

Prayer for Courage

God, I know what I need to do. Or at least I know the next step. But I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of their reaction. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid I won't be believed. I'm afraid that nothing will change. I'm afraid of making things worse. I'm afraid of the unknown.

I need courage. Not the kind that doesn't feel fear, but the kind that moves forward anyway. Give me the courage to speak, to act, to reach out, to take the step that's in front of me.

Remind me that I'm not doing this alone. That you are with me. That there are people who will walk with me. That the fear is real, but it doesn't get the final word.

Help me move.

Amen.

Optional Journaling Prompts

Use these for written reflection. There's no right length — write what comes.

1. Write about what you've lost. Since this relationship, what have you lost — friendships, confidence, activities, parts of yourself, hope? Name the losses without minimizing them.

2. Write about what you tell yourself. When something harmful happens, what story do you tell yourself afterward? ("It wasn't that bad." "I provoked it." "They didn't mean it.") Write out those internal scripts and then ask: Are these true?

3. Write a letter to yourself at an earlier point in this relationship. What would you say to you from six months ago, or a year ago, or five years ago? What do you wish you'd known?

4. Describe the version of you who is free. Without worrying about how to get there, write about what life looks like when you're not living in fear, not shrinking, not managing someone else's moods. What does that version of you do differently?

5. Write about one person who believes you. Even if just one person — write about what it means to be believed, to be seen, to have someone in your corner.

A Final Word

If you've read this far, you're already taking steps toward clarity. That takes courage — even if it doesn't feel courageous.

What you're experiencing is real. The patterns you're recognizing are real. The effects on your life are real. You are not crazy, and you are not too sensitive.

God sees you. He is not on the side of those who harm. He created you for relationships that help you thrive, not ones that tear you down.

Whatever step comes next for you — telling someone, seeking help, making a plan, or simply acknowledging to yourself that something is wrong — that step matters. You don't have to fix everything today. You just need to take the next right step.

You are not alone.

Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Available 24/7. Confidential support, resources, and safety planning.

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Thehotline.org: www.thehotline.org