Reflection and Prayer Prompts

For Personal Processing of Abuse, Harassment, and Manipulation

A Note Before You Begin

This material touches on experiences that may be painful to examine. There's no rush. You don't have to work through all of this at once. If something brings up intense emotions, it's okay to set it aside and come back later — or to process it with a counselor or trusted friend.

Reflection is not about reliving pain. It's about understanding what happened, recognizing patterns, and taking small steps toward healing and protection. Be gentle with yourself.

Personal Reflection Questions

Take your time with these. You might answer one per day, or sit with several in one session. There are no wrong answers — just honest ones.

Looking Back

1. Where did you learn what was "normal" in relationships? What did your family of origin teach you about conflict, anger, control, and care? Were there things you accepted as normal that you're now questioning?

2. Have you ever been in a situation where it didn't occur to you that you could say "stop"? What happened? What kept you from seeing that option? Looking back, what would you want your past self to know?

3. When someone mistreats you, what's your instinct — to blame them or to wonder what you did wrong? Where do you think that instinct came from?

4. Has anyone ever made you feel like your pain wasn't real — like what hurt you shouldn't have hurt? What did that do to your ability to trust your own feelings?

5. Is there a relationship in your life where you've been walking on eggshells — careful not to "set someone off"? What has that cost you?

Looking Inward

6. What are your "buttons" — the vulnerabilities that manipulative people can push? (Guilt? Fear of anger? Need for approval? Fear of abandonment? Over-responsibility?) How did those buttons get installed?

7. When you feel uncomfortable around someone, do you trust that feeling — or do you talk yourself out of it? What would it look like to start trusting your discomfort?

8. Which layers of protection (physical, verbal, relational, structural) do you use most naturally? Which are hardest for you? What would help you strengthen the ones that are harder?

9. Is there someone in your life who makes you feel smaller, weaker, or more powerless than you really are? What has their presence done to your sense of yourself?

Looking Forward

10. Who are the safe people in your life — people who believe you, stand with you, and don't try to explain away your experience? If you can't name anyone, what would it take to find those people?

11. What would it look like to trust your senses more — to believe yourself when something feels wrong? What's one small step you could take this week?

12. Is there a conversation you need to have, a boundary you need to set, or a situation you need to leave? You don't have to act on it today — but naming it is the beginning.

Guided Prayer Prompts

These prayers are offered as starting points — honest conversations with God. You don't have to feel anything particular. Just bring what's true.

When You're Recognizing Patterns You Didn't Want to See

God, I'm starting to see things I've been avoiding. Some of what I thought was normal wasn't healthy. Some of what I blamed myself for wasn't my fault. This is hard to look at.

Help me see clearly without being overwhelmed. Give me the courage to trust what I feel, even when others have told me my feelings were wrong. And help me take the next small step toward something healthier.

When You Feel Powerless

Lord, I feel stuck. The person who has hurt me seems so powerful, and I feel so small. I don't know how to change the situation, and I'm not even sure I have the right to try.

Remind me that no one is bigger than you. Help me find the people and the resources that can stand with me. Open my eyes to the options I can't see right now. And give me the strength to take one step — just one — toward safety.

When You're Afraid to Set a Boundary

God, I know something needs to change. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of conflict, afraid of being rejected, afraid of what will happen if I speak up.

Give me courage that doesn't depend on the outcome. Help me say what's true, even if it's hard. And remind me that protecting myself isn't selfish — it's honoring the life you gave me.

When You've Been Your Own Harshest Critic

Father, I've blamed myself for things that weren't mine to carry. I've asked "What did I do wrong?" when I should have asked "Why did they treat me that way?" I've taken responsibility for someone else's choices.

Help me lay that down. Not to excuse my own genuine wrongs, but to stop carrying shame that belongs to someone else. Teach me the difference between what's mine and what isn't.

When You're Beginning to Heal

Lord, something is shifting. I'm starting to see more clearly. I'm starting to trust myself more. I'm finding people who believe me.

Thank you for not leaving me stuck. Keep growing this new clarity. Help me be patient with the process — and with myself. And use what I'm learning to help someone else someday.

Journaling Prompts

Use these for written reflection — in a journal, on your phone, or just in your mind. There's no right length or format. Just write what's true.

Prompt 1: The Rules You Learned

Write about the unspoken "rules" you learned about relationships, conflict, and self-protection growing up. Where did those rules come from? Which ones served you well? Which ones have cost you?

Prompt 2: The Time You Didn't Speak Up

Think of a time you stayed silent when something felt wrong. What held you back? What do you wish you had said or done? Write a letter to your past self — not to criticize, but to offer compassion and wisdom.

Prompt 3: The Person Who Made You Feel Small

Without necessarily naming them, describe a person who has made you feel powerless, wrong, or "less than." What tactics did they use? What did it cost you? What do you want to believe about yourself instead of what they made you feel?

Prompt 4: Your Sunburn

Dr. Cloud talks about walking around with a "sunburn" — vulnerabilities that manipulative people can press on. Write about your sunburn. Where did it come from? What happens when someone presses on it? What would it look like to protect that tender place?

Prompt 5: The Version of You Who Protects Yourself

Imagine a version of yourself who fully trusts their own senses, who speaks up when something is wrong, who has strong people standing with them, and who knows they deserve protection. Describe that person. What do they do differently? How do they move through the world? What's one thing you can learn from them today?

A Final Word

Healing from mistreatment is not linear. There will be days when you feel strong and days when you feel like you're back at the beginning. Both are part of the journey.

You are not alone. You are not powerless. And what happened to you was not your fault.

If this material has surfaced things that feel too heavy to carry alone, please reach out to a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. You deserve support.

Resources

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• RAINN (Sexual Assault): 1-800-656-4673