Reflection & Prayer Prompts
For Those Loving Someone in Addiction
These prompts are designed for personal reflection — to help you process what you're experiencing and bring it honestly before God. There are no right answers. The goal is honesty, not performance.
Personal Reflection Questions
Take your time with these. You don't need to answer them all at once. Choose the ones that speak to where you are right now.
Looking Back
-
When did you first realize something was wrong? What did you see? What did you tell yourself at the time? Looking back, what do you wish you had known?
-
What have you lost to this addiction — even though you're not the one addicted? Consider trust, peace, money, time, relationships, dreams, your sense of self. What has it cost you?
-
What patterns have you fallen into trying to help or cope? Maybe it's covering for them, obsessing over them, trying to control the situation, isolating yourself, or losing yourself in managing them. Name the patterns without judgment.
-
Where have you been telling yourself you're fine when you're not? What emotions have you been suppressing? What needs have you been ignoring? What have you been pretending doesn't hurt?
Looking Inward
-
What's the hardest thing about accepting that you can't make them stop? Is it fear of what will happen? Guilt about "giving up"? Loss of hope? Something else?
-
What would it mean for you to focus on your own recovery? What would change? What would you have to let go of? What would you gain?
-
If you're honest, what are you most afraid of? Name the fear. You don't have to solve it — just acknowledge it.
-
What would you need in order to stop enabling — and actually follow through? Support? Permission? Courage? A plan? Someone to hold you accountable?
Looking Forward
-
What would "getting your own life back" look like? What relationships would you invest in? What goals would you pursue? What would you do with your energy if it wasn't all going toward managing them?
-
What's one thing you can do this week to take care of yourself? Not to reward yourself, but to affirm that you matter — regardless of what they choose.
Guided Prayer Language
These are not scripts to repeat, but starting points for your own honest conversation with God. Use them as they're helpful. Change them to fit your own words.
A Prayer for Letting Go of Control
God, I've been trying to hold this together. Trying to say the right things, do the right things, make them see, make them stop. I'm exhausted — and nothing I've done has worked.
I confess I've been trying to control what only you can change. I've made their recovery my responsibility, and I've lost myself in the process.
Help me let go — not of them, but of my illusion that I can fix them. Help me trust you with someone I love when I can't see how this ends. Give me the courage to focus on what I can change: myself.
I release them to you. Not because I don't care, but because I finally understand that holding on this tight isn't working. Catch me as I let go.
Amen.
A Prayer for the Grief
God, I'm grieving someone who's still here. I miss who they used to be. I miss the life I thought we'd have. I'm angry about promises broken and trust destroyed.
I don't know how to grieve something this complicated. It's not a clean loss — it's a slow unraveling, with moments of hope that make the disappointments worse.
Be with me in this grief. Don't ask me to pretend it's okay. Let me feel the weight of it and know that you're carrying it with me.
Comfort me. Sustain me. And when I'm ready, help me find my way back to life.
Amen.
A Prayer for Courage to Set Boundaries
Lord, I know what I need to do. I've known for a while. But following through feels impossible.
I'm afraid of what will happen if I stop enabling. I'm afraid they'll hate me, that something terrible will happen, that I'll be responsible. I'm afraid of the unknown.
Give me courage I don't have on my own. Help me see that love without boundaries isn't really love — it's fear dressed up as kindness. Help me believe that what I'm doing isn't cruel, but necessary.
Surround me with people who will support me. Strengthen my resolve when it wavers. And remind me that I can do hard things with your help.
Amen.
A Prayer for Hope
God, I've almost given up hoping. The disappointments have been so many. I've believed "this time will be different" too many times.
I don't want false hope — the kind that ignores reality. But I don't want to live without hope either. Help me find something in between: a hope that's grounded, realistic, and still believes that change is possible.
Show me what real hope looks like. Not hope that depends on them changing, but hope that my own life can be different. Hope that you are with me no matter how this turns out. Hope that doesn't expire when they relapse.
Give me that kind of hope. I need it.
Amen.
Journaling Prompts
Use these for deeper written reflection. Don't edit yourself — just write.
Prompt 1: The Letter You'll Never Send
Write a letter to the person you love who is addicted. Tell them what you've never been able to say — the hurt, the anger, the love, the fear, the hope, all of it. You're not going to send this. It's for you.
Prompt 2: A Portrait of Freedom
Describe your life one year from now if you fully embraced your own recovery. What would be different? What would you be doing? How would you feel? What would your relationships look like? Write it as if it's already happening.
Prompt 3: The Enabler's Confession
Write out the ways you've enabled — without shame, just honesty. For each one, write what you were trying to accomplish (usually something good: protect them, keep the peace, avoid conflict). Then write what it actually did (usually: made it easier for them to stay addicted). End with what you want to do differently.
Prompt 4: Talking to Your Younger Self
Imagine yourself five or ten years ago, before you knew the full extent of what you'd face. What would you tell yourself? What do you wish you had known? What would you have done differently? Write it as a letter to that younger you.
Prompt 5: What I'm Holding Onto
Complete this sentence and keep writing: "The thing I'm having the hardest time letting go of is..."
Don't stop writing until you've said everything you need to say.
A Final Word
If you're using these prompts, you're already doing something brave. You're choosing to face the truth of your situation rather than numbing out or pretending everything is fine.
This isn't an easy road. There will be days when you feel strong and days when you feel like you're falling apart. Both are normal. Both are part of the process.
What matters is that you keep going. Keep showing up to your own recovery. Keep being honest — with yourself, with God, with the people supporting you. Keep choosing health, even when the person you love isn't.
You can't control them. But you can control you. And that's where your power lies.
You are not alone.