Narcissism

Reflection & Prayer Prompts

Personal Reflection Questions

These questions are designed to help you process your experiences with narcissistic people — and to examine your own patterns. Take your time. Be honest with yourself.

If You're in a Narcissistic Relationship

1. How do you feel after spending time with this person? Seen or invisible? Energized or drained? Like an equal or like a supporting character?

2. What happens when you express a need, set a boundary, or give feedback? Do they receive it, or do they defend, attack, or play the victim?

3. Do you walk on eggshells around them? Are you constantly managing their emotions, anticipating their reactions, trying not to trigger them?

4. Have you lost yourself in this relationship? Do you remember who you were before? What did you enjoy, believe, value that seems distant now?

5. What would it mean to stop expecting empathy from someone who doesn't have it? What would you do differently? Where would you get your empathy needs met?

Examining Your Own Patterns

6. What draws you to certain people? Are you attracted to charm, success, and impressiveness — or to character, humility, and genuine care?

7. Have you ignored red flags because someone seemed special or exciting? What patterns do you notice in who you choose?

8. Do you pursue love or admiration? Do you want to be truly known, or do you want to appear a certain way?

9. What would it look like to choose "real over impressive"? In friendships, dating, or other relationships?

Guided Prayer Language

A Prayer for Those Feeling Invisible

God, I feel unseen. I give and give, and there's nothing left for me. I've become a supporting character in someone else's story — and I'm tired.

Help me believe that I matter. Not because someone else tells me I do, but because you made me and you see me. Even when no one else notices, you notice.

Give me wisdom for this relationship. Show me what I can change and what I can't. Help me find my voice again. And help me know that I deserve to be seen, not just to serve.

A Prayer for Discernment

Lord, I'm trying to figure out what I'm dealing with. Is this narcissism? Is it something else? Am I the problem?

Give me clarity. Help me see what's really happening — not just what I wish were true. Give me wise people to talk to who can help me see clearly.

And whatever I discover, help me respond with wisdom — not fear, not denial, not rashness. One step at a time. You know the way forward even when I don't.

A Prayer for Difficult Decisions

God, I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to fight for this relationship. Part of me wants to run. I feel pulled in every direction.

I'm not asking you to tell me whether to stay or go. I'm asking you to give me wisdom, support, and courage — whatever I decide. Help me make this decision with clear eyes, not in denial or despair.

And help me trust that there is life on the other side of this — whatever that looks like.

A Prayer for Healing

Lord, I've been hurt in ways I'm just beginning to understand. I lost myself trying to keep someone else happy. I doubted my own mind. I thought I was the problem.

Now I'm beginning to see clearly. And it hurts. Help me grieve what I lost — the years, the self-trust, the hope for what could have been.

But don't let me stay in grief. Help me rebuild. Show me who I am apart from this relationship. Surround me with people who see me and love me as I actually am — not as an object, but as a person.

Journaling Prompts

Choose one or two of these. Write freely. Don't edit yourself.

1. Describe what it feels like to be invisible. If you've experienced this in a relationship, write about it. What do you wish someone understood about that experience?

2. Write about the person you were before this relationship. What did you enjoy? What did you believe about yourself? What would that person say to you now?

3. Write a letter you won't send — to the narcissistic person in your life. Say what you've never been able to say. Get it out.

4. Describe what "real relationship" looks like to you. Mutuality. Being seen. Give and take. What would that actually feel like?

5. If you recognize narcissistic patterns in yourself, write about that. Where did they come from? What are you defending against? What would change if you didn't need to be special?

A Practice: The Reality Check

When you're confused about whether something is normal or narcissistic, try this:

1. Describe the situation to yourself as if it happened to a friend. "My friend's spouse did X. My friend feels Y."

2. Ask: What would I tell my friend? Would I say their feelings are valid? Would I see the pattern they can't see?

3. Apply that same wisdom to yourself. You deserve the same compassion and clarity you'd offer someone you love.

A Final Thought

Dr. Cloud says something profound: humans were not created to be worshipped. We were created to be loved. Admiration doesn't satisfy the human soul. Real connection does. Being known and accepted as you actually are — that's what we're built for.

If you've been in a narcissistic relationship, you've experienced what it's like to be an object — used for someone else's emotional regulation, discarded when you don't serve the purpose.

You deserve more than that. Not because you're special, but because you're a person. A real person with needs, feelings, and worth — not an audience member in someone else's performance.

Love is better than admiration. Find people who know the difference.

If You Need Help

If you are in a dangerous or abusive situation:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

You don't have to figure this out alone.