Guard Your Treasures

A Small Group Workbook

Session Overview and Goals

This session explores a foundational question: What are we protecting when we set boundaries? Before we can learn how to set healthy limits, we need to understand what's worth protecting in the first place. Dr. Cloud calls these our "treasures"—the internal possessions of our soul that make life meaningful.

Session Goals

By the end of this session, participants will:

1. Understand that boundaries exist to protect something valuable—the treasures of our inner life
2. Identify the ten key treasures that need both stewarding and protecting
3. Conduct a personal "treasure audit" to assess the condition of their soul
4. Recognize the difference between neglecting a treasure and allowing it to be violated
5. Take one concrete step toward better guarding what matters most

Materials Needed

• This workbook for each participant
• Pens or pencils
• A quiet space for reflection exercises

Teaching Summary

Why Boundaries Need Treasures

When you were a kid, you probably had a treasure chest of some kind. Maybe it was a shoebox. Maybe it was something fancy with a lock and key. Either way, you kept your most valued possessions inside it—protected from siblings, parents, or anyone who might not appreciate them.

That childhood instinct was right. Treasures need protection.

Now think about your house or apartment. You have a boundary line—a property line that defines what's yours. You have locks on your doors. Why? Because something valuable lives inside. You protect your home because of what's in it: your family, your belongings, your safety.

This is the foundational principle of boundaries: boundaries exist because something worth protecting lives inside them.

The Treasures of Your Soul

Jesus said that a person's life doesn't consist of possessions. Our real treasures aren't material—they're internal. They live in our heart, mind, soul, and strength. These are the treasures that boundaries are designed to protect:

1. Feelings — Your emotional life
2. Attitudes — Your outlook and perspective
3. Behaviors — Your actions and responses
4. Choices — Your freedom to decide
5. Limits — Your capacity and boundaries
6. Thoughts — Your mind and beliefs
7. Values — What matters most to you
8. Talents — Your abilities and gifts
9. Desires — Your dreams and longings
10. Loves — What and who you cherish

Two Questions for Every Treasure

Dr. Cloud teaches that for each treasure, we need to ask two crucial questions:

Question 1: Am I stewarding this treasure? Like a car that needs regular oil changes or a garden that needs tending, our inner treasures require attention. We can neglect them through inattention, and they'll rust, wither, or break down.

Question 2: Am I protecting this treasure from violation? Other people can damage our treasures. Jesus warned not to "cast your pearls before swine"—meaning some people won't value what you offer. We need to evaluate who gets access to our inner life.

The Difference It Makes

When we conduct a "treasure audit"—honestly examining each area—we often discover the source of depression, anxiety, resentment, or that vague sense that something's wrong. Either we've been neglecting what matters, or we've been allowing others to trample it.

The good news: these are our treasures. We have control over how we steward them. We have say over who gets access. Taking ownership isn't about being selfish—it's about being responsible for the life God gave us.

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you most in the teaching? What concept or phrase caught your attention?

2. Think back to childhood. Did you have a "treasure chest" of some kind? What did you keep in it, and how did you feel about protecting it?

3. When you hear the phrase "treasures of your soul," what comes to mind? What would you include in that category?

4. Which of the ten treasures do you think you're currently stewarding well? What does that look like in practice? [Allow multiple people to share—this builds encouragement before harder questions.]

5. Which treasure have you most neglected? Not which one are you bad at—but which one have you simply stopped paying attention to?

6. Dr. Cloud says that neglected desires can lead us to medicate with substitutes—food, shopping, scrolling, etc. Have you ever noticed this pattern in your own life? What was the real desire underneath?

7. Is there a treasure that someone else has been allowed to damage or diminish? Where have you perhaps been "casting pearls before swine"? [This may bring up painful relationships. Allow space but don't press.]

8. What's the difference between "I have no choice" and "I'm making a hard choice"? Why does that distinction matter for how we feel?

9. Dr. Cloud mentions that people who see themselves as having choices are healthier and happier. In what area of your life have you been telling yourself you have no choice?

10. What would it look like to take one step toward better stewardship of your most neglected treasure this week? What's one small, concrete action?

Personal Reflection Exercises

Exercise 1: The Treasure Audit (10 minutes)

Rate each treasure on a scale of 1-10, where:

• 1 = Severely neglected or violated
• 5 = Doing okay but room for growth
• 10 = Thriving and well-protected

Looking at your audit:

• Circle the treasure with your lowest rating.
• Put a star next to any treasure being damaged by someone else.

Exercise 2: Stewardship vs. Protection (5 minutes)

Pick your lowest-rated treasure from the audit above. Answer these two questions:

Stewardship Question: In what way have I been neglecting this treasure? What would it look like to tend to it better?

Protection Question: Has anyone been allowed to damage this treasure? If so, what boundary might I need to set?

Exercise 3: The "Real Desire" Check (5 minutes)

Dr. Cloud shares a story about craving seafood pasta. When he eats it to fulfill a genuine desire, it satisfies. When he eats five bowls to medicate unfulfilled desires, he still feels empty.

Think about a behavior you use to cope or comfort yourself—eating, scrolling, shopping, numbing out, overworking, etc.

The coping behavior: _______________________________________________

What might be the real, unfulfilled desire underneath?

Real-Life Scenarios

Scenario 1: The Dormant Dream

Marcus always loved music. In college, people told him he should pursue it professionally. But life got busy—job, marriage, kids. He hasn't touched his guitar in years. Sometimes he sees it in the closet and feels a pang of something—sadness? Regret? He tells himself it's too late now, that music was just a hobby, that grown-ups don't have time for that kind of thing. But lately he's noticed he's been spending hours each night scrolling YouTube videos of musicians, feeling emptier each time.

Discussion Questions:

• Which treasure is Marcus neglecting?
• What might be going on with the YouTube scrolling?
• What would it look like for Marcus to steward this treasure, even in a small way?

Scenario 2: The Critic at Home

Sandra's mother-in-law visits frequently and has opinions about everything—how Sandra keeps house, parents her kids, manages her career. Sandra's husband says "that's just how mom is" and stays out of it. After each visit, Sandra feels small, incompetent, and irritated. She finds herself rehearsing rebuttals in her head for days afterward, snapping at her kids, and dreading the next visit.

Discussion Questions:

• Which of Sandra's treasures are being affected?
• Is the problem neglect, violation, or both?
• What might it look like for Sandra to protect her treasures while still being part of the family?

Scenario 3: The Yes Man

David is known at church as someone who always says yes. Need a volunteer? Call David. Short-staffed for the event? David will be there. His calendar is packed with commitments he made because he couldn't say no. He's exhausted, resentful, and starting to dread Sunday mornings. When his wife asks how he's doing, he says "fine" because he doesn't know what else to say. He's lost track of what he actually enjoys.

Discussion Questions:

• What treasures is David failing to steward? What treasures might be getting violated?
• What might be underneath David's inability to say no?
• What would ownership look like for David?

Practice Assignments

Choose ONE of the following experiments to try before the next session:

Option A: Daily Treasure Check-In

Each evening this week, pick one treasure from the list and ask yourself: "How did I steward this today? Did I protect it?" Keep brief notes on what you notice.

Option B: The Values Inventory

Write out 5-10 things you truly value—not what you think you should value, but what actually matters to you. Then look at how you spent your time and energy last week. Do your actions reflect your values, or is there a gap?

Option C: The Desire Dig

The next time you reach for a comfort behavior (snacking when not hungry, mindless scrolling, retail therapy, etc.), pause and ask: "What do I really want right now that this is substituting for?" Write down what you discover.

Option D: The Access Audit

Think about who has significant access to your inner life—your feelings, your thoughts, your time. For each person, ask: "Do they respect and honor what I share, or do they damage it?" Note any patterns.

Closing Reflection

To be read aloud or silently:

Your soul is full of treasures. Real treasures—not gold and silver, but feelings and loves, desires and values, the capacities and gifts that make you you.

Some of those treasures are thriving. Celebrate that. Thank God for those areas of health.

Some have been neglected. That's okay. Now you see them. You can start tending to them again.

Some have been damaged. That hurts. But acknowledging the damage is the first step toward repair.

God invites you to steward what He's given you—not out of guilt or obligation, but out of love for the life He's placed in your care. Your boundaries exist for a reason: there's something precious inside them worth protecting.

This week, choose one treasure. Tend to it. Protect it. See what happens when you start treating your inner life like the valuable thing it is.

Optional Closing Prayer

The leader may read, or the group may sit in silence:

God, you've given us rich and varied inner lives—feelings, thoughts, desires, loves. Sometimes we forget they're there. Sometimes we let them rust. Sometimes we hand them over to people who don't treasure them like you do.

Give us eyes to see what we've been missing. Give us courage to take ownership of what's ours. Give us wisdom to know who to let in and who to keep at a distance.

Help us guard our hearts—not out of fear, but out of love for the life you've given us.

Amen.