Vision

Exercises & Practices

Is This Me?

These questions aren't a test. Just notice your internal response.

• When someone asks what you want out of life, do you draw a blank — or immediately default to what you think you should say rather than what you actually feel?

• Have you been busy for months or years without being able to point to anything that meaningfully changed? Lots of motion, but no clear direction?

• Do you set goals that sound good on paper — "be healthier," "improve my marriage," "grow spiritually" — but never translate them into anything specific enough to act on?

• When you come to a fork in the road — a decision about time, money, relationships, or career — do you feel paralyzed because you don't know which path leads somewhere you actually want to go?

• Do you find it hard to say no, not because you're a pushover, but because you're not clear enough about what you're protecting to know what doesn't fit?

• Is there an area of your life where you keep doing the same things but expecting different results — and you can't articulate what "different" would actually look like?

• If you're honest, are you living toward a future you chose — or one that someone else designed for you?

• Do your boundaries feel arbitrary — rules without a reason behind them — because you've never connected them to a picture of what you're building toward?

Questions Worth Sitting With

These don't have quick answers. Sit with them.

• When was the last time you felt a genuine pull toward something — a hunger for a future that didn't exist yet? What was it? What happened to it?

• How much of what you're currently pursuing is rooted in your own desire — and how much comes from the voices of parents, culture, church expectations, or a spouse? If you quieted all those voices, what would be left?

• Dr. Cloud says vision is a "desired future state" — not a fantasy, but something you believe is actually possible and are willing to organize your life around. Is there something you deeply want but have filed under "not realistic"? What would change if you moved it from the fantasy category to the vision category?

• If you picked one area of life — your marriage, your health, your career, your family — and described in specific detail what you want it to look like in three years, what picture would you paint? Can you describe it concretely, or does it stay vague?

• Once you have that picture, here's the harder question: what are you currently doing that doesn't fit it? What habits, patterns, commitments, or avoidance strategies are working against the future you say you want?

• What would it mean to actually trust that your path starts in your own heart — to stop waiting for someone else to tell you what to want and start listening to your own voice?

• If you've stopped wanting things because wanting led to pain, what would it look like to risk wanting again — even something small?

Growth Practices

Pick one. Try it this week. Notice what happens.

Week 1: Notice. This week, pay attention to every moment you feel a pull — toward something, away from something. It could be as small as wanting to leave a party early or as big as fantasizing about a different career. Don't judge it. Don't act on it. Just notice: "I want _____." Write down what you notice at the end of each day. You're reconnecting with your own voice.

Week 2: Name It. Pick one area of life — relationships, health, career, family, how you spend your time. Write a specific description of what you want it to look like. Not "better." Not "different." Specific enough that someone else could read it and see the same picture you see. "I want my marriage to have weekly date nights, honest conversations about money, and laughter that isn't forced." Read it out loud. Notice how it feels to say what you actually want.

Week 3: Identify the Misfit. Look at the vision you wrote in Week 2. Now look at your current life in that area. Ask: "What am I doing right now that doesn't fit where I want to go?" Write down at least three things — habits, commitments, patterns, avoidance strategies — that work against your vision. You don't have to change them yet. Just name them honestly.

Week 4: Share It. Tell one person your vision. A trusted friend, a spouse, a mentor, a group. Say it out loud: "Here's what I want my life to look like in this area." Ask them to notice when you're drifting away from it. Vision clarifies when you speak it. And having someone who knows what you're building toward is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Week 5: Act on One Thing. Choose one misfit you identified in Week 3 and make one change. It doesn't have to be dramatic — cancel one commitment that doesn't serve your vision, have one honest conversation you've been avoiding, start one practice that moves you toward your desired future. One action, taken on purpose, in the direction you've chosen.

Scenario Cards

Scenario 1: The Drifting Year Sarah realized at the end of last year that she couldn't describe what she'd accomplished or experienced. The year just happened. She was busy every day — work, errands, kids' activities, volunteer commitments — but looking back, she can't point to anything meaningful that changed. She spent all her time responding to what was urgent. Now it's January and she wants this year to be different, but when she sits down to make a plan, she realizes she doesn't know what she actually wants.

What's missing from Sarah's approach? If she asked you for help, where would you tell her to start?

Scenario 2: The Couple at the Crossroads Marcus and Lisa have been married eight years. They've been fighting more — about money, about weekends, about parenting decisions. A counselor asked them, "What kind of marriage are you trying to build? What do you want it to look like in five years?" They both went silent. They'd never talked about it. They got married, had kids, and have been reacting to life ever since. Marcus wants more adventure; Lisa wants more stability. Neither has said that out loud until now.

How does the absence of a shared vision contribute to their conflict? What would it look like for them to build one together — without one person abandoning what they want?

Scenario 3: The Successful Empty Michael has a good job, a nice house, and a full calendar. By external measures, he's doing well. But he feels hollow. When someone asked what he actually wants out of life, he couldn't answer. He realized he'd spent twenty years doing what he thought he was supposed to — what his parents expected, what his company valued, what success was supposed to look like. He's never asked himself what he wants.

How does someone end up like Michael? What might the first steps look like for someone who's achieved everything except knowing what they actually desire?

Journaling & Reflection

Looking Back

• When did you last feel a clear sense of direction in your life? What made that season different from seasons of drift or confusion?

• What visions have you held that didn't come true — a dream for your marriage, your career, your health, your family? How has that loss shaped your willingness to hope again?

• Whose voices have most shaped what you think you should want? When you quiet those voices, what's left?

Looking Inward

• How connected are you right now to what you actually want? Can you name your desires easily, or do you feel disconnected from your own heart? If disconnected, when did that start?

• What do you resent? Resentment often points to unmet desires. What might your resentment be revealing about what you actually want?

• Where do you come alive — what activities, conversations, or environments give you energy rather than drain it? What does that tell you about your direction?

Looking Forward

• What would you attempt if you believed it was actually possible? What's in the category of "not realistic" that might actually be a vision in disguise?

• What are you currently doing that doesn't fit your desired future? What would change if you stopped?

• If you had complete clarity about where your life was going, how would you make decisions differently? What would you say no to? What would you pursue with confidence?