Relationship Red Flags

Conversation Starters

Dr. Cloud says red flags are like termites — eating away at the structure of what holds you together, often invisibly, until serious damage has been done. If someone inspected the structure of your closest relationship right now, what would they find behind the walls?

Think about the last person you walked away from — a friend, a boss, a church, a partner. If someone asked you to describe them, would they hear nuance, or would they hear a villain? Dr. Cloud says the way you tell that story reveals whether you're heading toward the same ending in your next relationship.

A baby sees the world as all good or all bad. One of the biggest maturity steps a human being makes is learning to hold both at the same time — "this person has real strengths AND they've really let me down." In your closest relationship right now, are you holding the whole picture, or have you split it in two?