How to Say No

Conversation Starters

Dr. Cloud says your whole body knew how to say no when you were an infant — you'd spit out what you didn't want, turn your face away, scrunch up and refuse. Somewhere between then and now, that capacity got paralyzed. What paralyzed it in you — and what is it costing you to leave it paralyzed?

"You can't please everyone" isn't advice — it's gravity. Some people want apples, some want bananas; some want you to say yes, others want you to say no. You'd literally have to split yourself in two. So here's the real question: whose displeasure are you designing your entire life around — and is that person even healthy?

Dr. Cloud changed his major against his father's wishes and took a job making $3.33 an hour as a hospital orderly while his friends landed prestigious business jobs. He says, "I would not be doing what I'm doing today if I tried to please everybody." What's the $3.33-an-hour decision you've been avoiding — and what would your life look like five years from now if you kept avoiding it?