How to Find a Therapist

A Quick Guide

Overview

Finding a therapist is one of the most common questions people ask—and one of the most important decisions you can make. You have a need, you sense that you might benefit from professional help, and then you face the question: Where do I even start?

This isn't like buying a shirt. When you invest in therapy, you're investing time, energy, money, and ultimately your life—because good therapy affects your relationships, your functioning, how you feel, and how you show up in the world. It deserves careful thought.

Here's the good news: there is good help out there. The challenge is knowing how to find it and how to tell the difference between a good match and a poor one.

What Usually Goes Wrong

People wait too long. Many people think they need to be in crisis before "deserving" professional help. But therapy isn't just for emergencies—it's for anyone whose current resources aren't producing the growth or healing they need.

People feel shame about needing help. Somewhere along the way, many Christians picked up the idea that needing therapy means their faith isn't strong enough. This couldn't be further from the truth. Good therapy operates by principles that are deeply biblical—grace, truth, and time.

People choose randomly. Googling "therapist near me" and picking the first name is like choosing a surgeon because their office is convenient. Credentials, experience, and fit all matter.

People don't know what they're looking for. There are many therapeutic modalities—CBT, psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, attachment-based therapy, and more. Not knowing what these mean makes it hard to evaluate whether someone is a good fit.

People stay too long with the wrong person. Some people feel obligated to continue with a therapist even when it's not working. You have the right to evaluate whether you're making progress.

People assume "Christian" automatically means "competent." A therapist who shares your faith is valuable, but faith alone doesn't ensure skill. A non-Christian therapist who respects your values and knows how to heal attachment wounds may be more helpful than a Christian therapist who only has surface-level training.

What Health Looks Like

A healthy approach to finding a therapist involves:

Treating yourself as a wise consumer. You're paying for a service that will affect your life. It's appropriate to ask questions, interview potential therapists, and evaluate fit.

Seeking referrals from trusted sources. People who make lots of referrals—pastors, doctors, attorneys who work in family law—tend to know who gets results over time.

Understanding what you need. Before you start looking, have some sense of whether you're dealing with clinical issues (depression, anxiety, trauma), relational issues (marriage, family, patterns), or performance issues (career, purpose, motivation).

Prioritizing competence. The best therapist for you is someone with deep experience in your particular issue, good training, proper licensure, and the ability to work within your value system.

Staying engaged in the process. Good therapy isn't passive. You participate, you evaluate, and you're honest about what's working and what isn't.

Key Principles

• Everyone can benefit from therapeutic help. If your name isn't Jesus, you came through this world with some deficits—genetic, environmental, or experiential. Therapy helps address those.

• Therapy involves grace, truth, and time. Grace provides what we lack. Truth helps us see what's broken. Time allows growth to take root. Good therapy integrates all three.

• The best therapists are integrative, not one-trick specialists. Beware of anyone who only has one approach. Life is complex, and good therapists know when to use different tools.

• Licensure matters. A license means someone has met a professional bar—graduate training, supervised hours, exams. It's a baseline vetting.

• Referrals from people who make a lot of referrals are gold. Pastors, doctors, and certain attorneys deal with hurting people constantly. They learn over time who gets results.

• You have the right to interview your therapist. Ask about their experience, their approach, their success with issues like yours. A good therapist welcomes this.

• Faith integration is ideal but competence is essential. A Christian therapist who resonates with your faith is valuable—but don't sacrifice competence for it.

• If it's not working, say something. Good therapists welcome honest evaluation. If you've been in therapy for a while and nothing significant is happening, it's okay to raise the question or seek a second opinion.

Practical Application

This Week:

1. Identify your need. Write down what you're struggling with. Is it clinical (anxiety, depression, trauma)? Relational (marriage, family, conflict patterns)? Performance-related (stuck, purposeless, unable to finish things)?

2. Ask for referrals. Talk to your pastor, your doctor, or someone else who regularly refers people to counselors. Ask specifically: "Who have you sent people to that you've gotten good feedback about?"

3. Check credentials. When you have a name, verify their license through your state licensing board. Look for any disciplinary actions.

4. Schedule a consultation. Most therapists offer a brief initial call or session. Use it to ask questions: What's your experience with this issue? What approach do you use? What can I expect?

5. Evaluate fit, not just likability. A therapist who makes you feel comfortable but never challenges you may not help you grow. Look for someone who combines warmth with honesty.

Common Questions & Misconceptions

"Should I only see a Christian therapist?"

It's ideal when a therapist can resonate with your faith—but it's not the only factor. A competent therapist who respects your values and works within them can be deeply helpful, even if they don't share your beliefs. Many effective therapeutic principles are biblical even when the therapist doesn't cite chapter and verse.

"Doesn't needing therapy mean my faith isn't enough?"

No. We're embodied souls living in a broken world. The healing we receive through therapy often operates by the same principles as spiritual growth—connection, truth, grace, and time. Seeking professional help is an act of stewardship, not spiritual failure.

"How do I know when I need more than just friends and support groups?"

When what you're doing isn't producing change. When the demands of life are creating symptoms you can't manage. When the people who love you don't have the specialized knowledge to help with what you're facing.

"What if I tried therapy before and it didn't work?"

Not all therapists are created equal, and not every match is a good one. A bad experience doesn't mean therapy doesn't work—it may mean you need a different therapist, a different modality, or both.

"How long does therapy take?"

It depends on what you're working on. Surface-level issues may resolve quickly. Deeper patterns that were laid down early in life will take longer. Growth is a process, and there's no shortcut.

Closing Encouragement

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of wisdom. The bravest thing you can do when you're struggling is admit that you need something you don't currently have and then go find it.

Good therapy can change your life. It can heal wounds that have been open for decades. It can give you skills you never learned. It can help you understand yourself in ways that transform your relationships, your work, and your sense of purpose.

You deserve good help. It's out there. And finding it starts with taking the first step—doing the research, asking the questions, and trusting that the investment will be worth it.