Guard Your Treasures

Exercises & Practices

Is This Me?

These questions aren't a test. Just notice your internal response — what tightens, what stings, what you want to skip over.

• Do you regularly tell people you're "fine" when you haven't actually checked how you're doing?
• Have you stopped paying attention to a hobby, a talent, or a dream you used to care about — and told yourself it doesn't matter anymore?
• Do you say yes to things and then resent the commitment afterward?
• Is there someone in your life whose words consistently leave you feeling small, stupid, or incompetent — and you keep giving them access?
• Do you reach for comfort behaviors (food, scrolling, shopping, numbing out) when something feels off but you can't name what it is?
• Have you been telling yourself "I have no choice" about a situation you're actually choosing to stay in?
• Do your actions contradict what you say you want? (You say you want rest but fill every evening. You say you want connection but avoid vulnerability.)
• Have you lost track of what you actually value — not what you think you should value, but what genuinely matters to you?
• Do you find yourself rehearsing arguments in your head days after a conversation with someone who disrespected you?
• Is there a desire you've ignored so long you've almost forgotten it existed?

Questions Worth Sitting With

These don't have quick answers. Sit with them. Let them work on you.

• If someone observed your life for a week — how you spend your time, where you put your energy, what you say yes and no to — what would they conclude you treasure? Does that match what you actually treasure?
• Which of your treasures has been damaged not by someone else, but by your own neglect? What kept you from paying attention?
• Where did you learn that your inner life wasn't worth protecting? Who taught you that — and are you still believing them?
• What's the difference between the person you are when you're with safe people and the person you are when you're with the person who damages your treasures? What does that gap tell you?
• If you stopped medicating and actually sat with the ache — what do you think you'd find underneath?
• What choice have you been refusing to own? What would change if you said "I'm choosing this" instead of "I have no choice"?
• Are you relating to the real people in your life — or to the picture of them in your head? Where might old patterns be distorting how you see someone?
• What would your life look like in a year if you started stewarding your most neglected treasure today?

Growth Practices

Pick one. Try it this week. Notice what happens.

Week 1: The Treasure Audit Rate each of the ten treasures on a scale of 1-10: feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, thoughts, values, talents, desires, loves. Don't overthink it — go with your gut. Then circle the lowest one and put a star next to any being damaged by someone else. That's your map. Just notice it this week. Don't try to fix anything yet.

Week 2: The Desire Dig The next time you reach for a comfort behavior — snacking when not hungry, mindless scrolling, retail therapy, numbing out with a screen — pause. Before you do it, ask: "What do I really want right now that this is substituting for?" Write down what comes up. You don't have to act on it. Just start noticing the pattern.

Week 3: The Ownership Reframe Pick one situation you've been telling yourself you have no choice about. Reframe it: "I'm choosing this because _____." Say it out loud. Notice how it feels different. You may still make the same choice — but owning it changes the resentment. If you can't finish the sentence with a reason that satisfies you, that's information worth having.

Week 4: The Access Audit Think about who has significant access to your inner life — your feelings, your thoughts, your time, your vulnerabilities. For each person, ask: "Do they respect and honor what I share, or do they damage it?" Write two lists: people who build up your treasures and people who diminish them. Notice any patterns. Consider whether any access needs to change.

Week 5: The One Treasure Pick the treasure you rated lowest and do one concrete thing to steward it this week. If it's talents — spend 30 minutes doing something you're good at. If it's desires — write down three things you actually want. If it's feelings — check in with yourself three times a day and name what you feel. Small, specific, doable.

Scenario Cards

Scenario 1: The Dormant Dream Marcus always loved music. In college, people told him he should pursue it professionally. But life got busy — job, marriage, kids. He hasn't touched his guitar in years. Sometimes he sees it in the closet and feels a pang of something — sadness? Regret? He tells himself it's too late, that music was just a hobby, that grown-ups don't have time for that. But lately he's been spending hours each night scrolling YouTube videos of musicians, feeling emptier each time.

Which treasure is Marcus neglecting? What might the YouTube scrolling be about? What would you tell him — and what would you tell yourself if you were in his shoes?

Scenario 2: The Critic at Home Sandra's mother-in-law visits frequently and has opinions about everything — how Sandra keeps house, parents her kids, manages her career. Sandra's husband says "that's just how Mom is" and stays out of it. After each visit, Sandra feels small, incompetent, and irritated. She rehearses rebuttals in her head for days, snaps at her kids, and dreads the next visit.

Which of Sandra's treasures are being affected — and is the problem neglect, violation, or both? What does ownership look like here? What would you do?

Scenario 3: The Nervous Date James hasn't dated in two years. He finally meets someone he likes and they go to dinner. Within minutes, he becomes a lesser version of himself — quieter, stiffer, laughing at things that aren't funny. He's not relating to the person across the table. He's relating to a judge — someone with the power to deem him worthy or unworthy. He leaves the date feeling exhausted and disappointed in himself.

What's happening with James's picture of the other person? Which treasures is he failing to steward in that moment? What old dynamic might be driving this?

Journaling & Reflection

Looking Back

• Write about a treasure you once tended well that you've since neglected. When did it start gathering dust? What was happening in your life at that time? What would it mean to pick it up again?
• Think about who taught you which treasures were worth protecting and which weren't. Did anyone in your early life dismiss your feelings, mock your desires, or tell you your talents didn't matter? How does that voice still show up?

Looking Inward

• Do a slow walk through the ten treasures right now. For each one, write a single honest sentence about its current condition. Don't judge — just describe.
• Write about a substitute behavior you use to cope. What feeling does it numb? What desire does it replace? What would happen if you addressed the real thing instead of reaching for the substitute?

Looking Forward

• Pick the treasure you most want to restore. Write a letter to yourself about what it would look like to tend to it well — not perfectly, but consistently. What's the first small step?
• Imagine yourself a year from now, having done the treasure audit and acted on it. What's different? What did you stop tolerating? What did you start investing in? How do you feel?