Getting Through a Difficult Season

Exercises & Practices

Is This Me?

These questions aren't a test. Just notice your internal response.

• When difficulty hits, is your first instinct to isolate and handle it alone? Do you tell yourself that asking for help means you're weak, or that you don't want to burden anyone?

• Are you trying to maintain your normal pace — same commitments, same schedule, same obligations — even though nothing about your situation is normal right now?

• Do you spend most of your mental energy worrying about things you can't actually control, while the things you could influence sit untouched?

• When something goes wrong — a setback, a bad day, a decision that didn't work out — do you interpret it as proof that everything is falling apart, rather than as a predictable part of the process?

• Have you hit a wall where your motivation dropped and you interpreted that drop as a sign you can't do this? Did you confuse a dip in energy with a verdict on your ability?

• Is everyone weighing in on your situation — family, friends, acquaintances — and you haven't decided whose voice you actually want in your head right now?

• Are you running on empty but telling yourself you'll rest "when this is over"?

• Do you feel guilty when you're not actively fighting your problem — as though resting or laughing or enjoying something means you're not taking it seriously?

Questions Worth Sitting With

These don't have quick answers. Sit with them.

• If you drew concentric circles of your support system — your closest one or two people at the center, a small community in the next ring, your broader network on the outside — what would the picture look like? Where are the gaps? Is anyone in a circle who probably shouldn't be, and is anyone missing who should?

• What would it cost you to let people see that you're struggling? What story do you carry about what it means to need help — and where did that story come from?

• If you made two lists — everything you can't control about this situation and everything you can — which list are you spending your energy on? What would shift if you surrendered the first list and focused entirely on the second?

• You will hit a point in this season where your energy drops, your motivation fades, and you want to quit. That's not a sign of failure — it's a predictable part of any sustained difficulty. How will you respond when it comes? What commitments and structures will carry you when motivation can't?

• If your life is a long movie and this hard season is one scene, what would you want the character in that scene to do? Not a character who never struggles — but one who struggles well. What would that look like for you, specifically, this week?

• What would you need to prune from your life right now to protect your capacity? What are you holding onto out of obligation or guilt that's draining you more than it's giving? What would it take to set those things down — even just for this season?

• Why are you persevering? What's the deeper purpose beneath the daily grind of getting through this? If you've lost sight of the "why," what would it take to reconnect with it?

Growth Practices

Pick one. Try it this week. Notice what happens.

Week 1: Notice For one week, track your energy. At the end of each day, write down three things: what drained you, what fueled you, and where you spent effort on something you can't actually control. Don't change anything yet — just notice. By the end of the week, you'll have a map of where your energy is actually going versus where it needs to go.

Week 2: Try Pick one person you trust and tell them the truth about how you're doing. Not the polished version. Not "I'm fine, just busy." The real version. Then ask them for one specific thing — a weekly check-in, help with a task, just someone to listen. Notice what it feels like to let someone in rather than handling it alone.

Week 3: Stretch Prune one thing. Identify a commitment, obligation, or activity that's draining more than it's giving right now and say no to it — at least for this season. Don't over-explain. Don't apologize for three paragraphs. Just say, "I need to step back from this for now." Notice the guilt that comes up. Notice that the world doesn't end.

Week 4: Build Make your two lists — everything you can't control and everything you can. Spend ten minutes with the first list. Feel the weight of it. Then consciously set it down. Take one item from the second list and act on it today. Just one. Repeat tomorrow.

Week 5: Sustain Schedule your support. Not "let's get together sometime" but an actual recurring time with someone in your inner circle — even a 15-minute phone call every other week. Put it in the calendar. Structure is what holds when everything else is chaotic.

Scenario Cards

Scenario 1: The Creeping Overload Rachel's father was diagnosed with early-stage dementia six months ago. She's managing his care, working full-time, and keeping up with her kids' activities. She hasn't told her book club friends what's going on because she doesn't want pity. Her husband keeps saying "just tell me what you need" but she doesn't know what she needs. She's sleeping four hours a night and just snapped at a coworker for the third time this month.

What's working in Rachel's approach and what isn't? If you were Rachel, what would be the hardest thing to change — and why? What would you do first?

Scenario 2: The Sudden Drop Marcus was laid off two months ago. He's been saying yes to every volunteer request at his community center ("since I have the time") but resents it afterward. He hasn't updated his resume because every time he sits down to do it, he scrolls job boards instead and feels worse. His wife is supportive but starting to get anxious about finances, which makes him anxious. He told his closest friend he's "exploring options" but hasn't mentioned the panic attacks.

What would a support system audit reveal about Marcus's situation? Where is he spending energy on things he can't control? What would "decision rights" look like for his job search?

Scenario 3: The Long Haul Tanya and James's marriage has been in crisis for a year. They're in counseling, but progress is slow. Tanya's mother calls daily with advice. James's brother thinks they should "just get over it." Their kids sense the tension. Both Tanya and James are exhausted but for different reasons — she's exhausted from talking about it, he's exhausted from not knowing the outcome. They haven't done anything fun together in months.

How might the concept of pruning apply here? What would you say to Tanya's mother and James's brother about their roles? What's one thing Tanya and James could do this week that isn't about fixing the marriage?

Journaling & Reflection

Looking Back

• Think about a difficult season you've been through before — one you survived. What actually helped you get through it? What do you wish you'd done differently? What did you learn about yourself that you can bring into this current season?

• What messages did you receive growing up about handling hard times? Were you taught to push through, to never show weakness, to handle things alone? How are those messages shaping how you respond now — and which ones need to be challenged?

Looking Inward

• If someone asked you "How are you doing?" and you answered honestly instead of automatically, what would you say? Write the real answer — the one you don't usually give.

• Where in your life are you running on empty right now? What rest, recreation, or refueling have you been putting off because it feels selfish or irresponsible? What would it take to give yourself permission?

Looking Forward

• Imagine yourself one year from now. This difficult season is behind you — however it turned out. Write a letter from that future self to the person you are today. What would you want to say? What encouragement would you give? What would you want yourself to remember?

• If you could design the next month of this difficult season — not the outcome, but how you go through it — what would be different? What support would you have? What would you stop doing? What would you start?