Leader Facilitation Notes: Catastrophizing Session

FOR LEADER USE ONLY — NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION TO GROUP MEMBERS

Purpose of This Resource

This session helps group members understand catastrophizing — why they do it, where it comes from, and how to develop healthier responses. The goal is not to eliminate all fear or uncertainty, but to help participants respond to life's difficulties with proportional, adult perspective rather than regressed, worst-case thinking.

What Success Looks Like

A successful session will leave participants:

• Feeling understood and normalized, not shamed for their patterns
• With clarity about what catastrophizing is and why they might do it
• Curious about the connection between their current responses and past experiences
• Equipped with at least one practical tool they can use this week
• Connected to others in the group who share similar struggles
• Aware of the difference between painful challenges and actual catastrophes
• Holding hope that this pattern can change

Group Dynamics to Watch For

This topic can surface several challenging dynamics. Here's what to expect and how to respond:

1. Childhood Disclosures

What it looks like: The teaching explicitly addresses childhood origins of catastrophizing — rejection, chaos, inconsistent parenting, addiction. This will prompt some participants to remember and potentially share difficult childhood experiences.

How to respond:

• Welcome these connections without requiring detail: "Thank you for making that connection. It takes courage to see those patterns."
• Don't probe for more information: "You don't need to share more unless you want to. It's valuable just to recognize the connection."
• Keep the group focused on patterns and growth, not on unpacking trauma: "That's exactly the kind of origin we're talking about. Understanding where it came from helps us be compassionate with ourselves as we grow."
• If someone shares significant trauma, acknowledge it warmly and redirect: "That sounds like it was genuinely painful. I'm glad you're in a place to look at it now. We can talk more after group if you'd like."

2. Trauma Dumping

What it looks like: A participant begins sharing detailed, intense trauma content — descriptions of abuse, neglect, or other disturbing experiences — in a way that feels uncontained or overwhelming to the group.

How to respond:

• Gently interrupt with care: "I can tell this is really significant, and I want to honor that. For the purposes of our group, we're going to focus on the patterns and the path forward rather than the full details. Would you be open to talking with me after group?"
• Thank them for their trust: "It means a lot that you trust the group with something so important."
• Ground the group: After intense disclosure, pause briefly. "Let's take a breath together. That was a lot to share, and we're grateful for the trust."

3. Intellectualizing

What it looks like: A participant talks about catastrophizing in purely theoretical or third-person terms — analyzing the concept without engaging personally. "Some people do this because..." or "I've read that anxiety is related to..."

How to respond:

• Gently invite personal connection: "That's a great observation. Where do you see any of this in your own experience?"
• Don't force it. Some people need to process intellectually before emotionally: "Take your time. Sometimes it's easier to start with observations before getting personal."

4. Comparing Pain

What it looks like: Participants minimize their own experience compared to others: "Well, my childhood wasn't that bad" or "At least I didn't go through what she did." Alternatively, they may dismiss others' struggles as less serious than their own.

How to respond:

• Normalize the continuum: "Catastrophizing develops along a whole spectrum of experiences. You don't need to have had the worst experience to have real patterns to work through."
• Redirect from comparison: "Let's focus on understanding your own patterns rather than comparing. Everyone's experience is valid."

5. Defensiveness About Parents or Family

What it looks like: Some participants may become uncomfortable when the teaching connects catastrophizing to childhood or family experiences. They may push back: "My parents did the best they could" or "I don't want to blame anyone."

How to respond:

• Validate the concern: "Absolutely — understanding where patterns come from isn't the same as blaming. Most parents did the best they could with what they had. We can hold both things at once: gratitude for what they gave us and honesty about patterns that got installed."
• Emphasize the goal: "We're not here to put anyone on trial. We're here to understand our own patterns so we can grow."

6. Spiraling in the Session

What it looks like: Talking about catastrophizing can trigger catastrophizing. A participant may become visibly anxious, emotional, or start exhibiting the very pattern being discussed — perhaps worrying that their patterns are too deep to change or that they're "too broken."

How to respond:

• Ground them: "I notice this might be bringing up some of those feelings right now. Let's take a breath. You're safe here."
• Normalize: "It's actually pretty common for this topic to stir up the very thing we're discussing. That's okay."
• Offer hope: "The fact that you can see it is actually the first step. You're already doing the work."

How to Keep the Group Safe

What to Redirect (with language)

• Detailed trauma descriptions: "I appreciate you trusting us. Let's focus on what that experience taught your brain, rather than the details of what happened."
• Advice-giving: "Let's let [name] sit with their experience without jumping to solutions. We're here to understand and witness, not fix."
• Spiritual bypassing: "Prayer and faith are real resources, absolutely. And sometimes we also need to understand the wiring and do the work alongside trusting God."
• Diagnostic language: "Let's stay away from labels and diagnoses. We're exploring patterns here, not making clinical assessments."

What NOT to Force

• Don't require anyone to identify childhood origins they're not ready to see
• Don't push for disclosure about family experiences
• Don't demand that people commit to changing right now — awareness is enough for some
• Don't insist on prayer or spiritual practices if someone isn't there yet

Remember Your Role

You are a facilitator, not a therapist. Your job is to:

• Create a safe space for honest reflection
• Keep the discussion on track
• Normalize struggle without offering clinical intervention
• Point people toward growth and resources

You are not expected to:

• Diagnose anyone
• Counsel people through trauma
• Have all the answers
• Fix anyone's patterns in one session

Common Misinterpretations to Correct

"I just need to stop worrying."

Correction: "It's not that simple, and telling yourself to stop worrying rarely works. We're looking at the deeper patterns underneath the worry — understanding why your alarm system is set so sensitive. That kind of understanding is what actually leads to change."

"If I had more faith, I wouldn't catastrophize."

Correction: "Faith is a real resource, and Scripture does invite us to trust rather than worry. But catastrophizing is often a wiring issue from development or trauma, not a faith deficit. Faithful, prayerful people can still have sensitive alarm systems. Growth in this area involves both faith and developmental work."

"My catastrophizing is just being realistic — bad things really do happen."

Correction: "Bad things definitely happen. The question is whether your response is proportional to what's actually happening. Catastrophizing adds suffering by treating painful challenges as if they're total catastrophes. Both can be hard — but they're not the same."

"I can't help it — it's just how I am."

Correction: "It's true that this pattern might be deeply wired. But 'deeply wired' doesn't mean 'unchangeable.' The brain is remarkably adaptable. Understanding where it came from is the first step toward growing into something different."

"If I prepare for the worst, I'll be ready when it happens."

Correction: "There's a difference between prudent preparation and catastrophizing. Preparation says, 'Let me think through options.' Catastrophizing says, 'The worst is definitely coming and there's nothing I can do.' One helps you; the other paralyzes you."

When to Recommend Outside Support

Signs That a Member May Need More Than Group Can Provide

• They describe trauma that seems unprocessed and overwhelming
• They are unable to engage with the content without becoming severely distressed
• They describe symptoms that sound like active PTSD (flashbacks, severe avoidance, hypervigilance that disrupts daily life)
• They mention suicidal thoughts or hopelessness about change
• Their catastrophizing is interfering significantly with work, relationships, or daily functioning
• They have no support system outside the group

How to Have the Conversation

Use warm, normalizing language. Never shame someone for needing more help.

Sample language:

• "What you're describing sounds really significant. I'm wondering if a counselor might be able to go deeper with you on this than we can in a group setting. Would you be open to exploring that?"
• "The patterns you're noticing are important, and sometimes it's helpful to have a professional help you work through the childhood pieces in a focused way. Have you ever thought about counseling?"
• "I'm really glad you're here and engaging with this. Based on what you're sharing, I think you might benefit from some one-on-one support in addition to what we're doing together. Can I help connect you with someone?"

What not to say:

• "You need professional help" (sounds alarming)
• "This is too much for our group" (sounds rejecting)
• "I think you have PTSD" (don't diagnose)

Timing and Pacing Guidance

Suggested Time Allocation (90-minute session)

If Time Is Short — Prioritize These Questions

1. "How would you describe your relationship with 'what if' thinking?"
2. "What's the difference between a painful challenge and an actual catastrophe?"
3. "What helps you gain perspective when you're stuck in the crisis scene?"
4. "What's one situation where you tend to catastrophize, and what would proportional response look like?"

Where the Conversation May Get Stuck

• On childhood experiences: People can spend a long time here. Acknowledge the importance but keep moving: "These origins are really important to understand. For today, let's also make sure we get to what we can do going forward."
• On the question of faith and worry: This can become theological debate. Redirect: "There's a lot to explore there. For today, let's focus on the practical patterns and how to grow in them."
• On specific personal situations: Someone may want the group to solve their current catastrophizing situation. Redirect: "That sounds really hard. Let's use that as an example of the patterns we're discussing, rather than trying to solve it completely here."

Leader Encouragement

This is sensitive content. You may feel pressure to say the right thing, avoid causing harm, or manage difficult disclosures. Here's what to remember:

You don't need to have all the answers. Your job is to create a safe space, facilitate honest conversation, and point people toward growth. You're not expected to fix anyone.

Showing up consistently matters more than doing it perfectly. Your presence, your attention, and your care communicate safety. That's more important than having the perfect response to every moment.

It's okay to say, "I don't know." If someone asks a question you can't answer: "That's a great question, and I'm not sure. Let me think about it, or we can explore together."

Take care of yourself. This content can surface your own patterns too. Notice if you're being triggered and give yourself the same grace you're offering the group.

Trust the process. Some of the most important work happens between sessions. You're planting seeds — you don't have to see them all sprout today.

Pray for your group. If that's part of your practice, carry these people with you during the week. Their courage in showing up and engaging deserves honor.

You're doing important work. Thank you for leading.