Boundaries with Parents

Conversation Starters

Dr. Cloud says parents are supposed to work themselves out of a job — moving from being your source, your guardian, and your manager to just being another adult who loves you. Did that transition ever happen in your family? And if it didn't, what role is your parent still trying to play in your life that they should have given up years ago?

The Bible says "honor your parents." But the verses that say "obey your parents" — in Ephesians and Colossians — are addressed to children, not adults. Dr. Cloud told a woman named Tammy, "I'm going to honor you, Mom, by inviting you into counseling so we can have a good relationship. If you don't want that, call me when you do." What would honoring your parent without obeying them actually look like in your life?

Dr. Cloud says you cannot get healing from the person who wounded you — that going back to an empty well expecting water is how people stay stuck for decades. If you stopped going to your parent for something they have never been able to give you, where else could you go to get it? And what would it feel like to finally stop waiting?