Understanding Anxiety: Leader Facilitation Notes

For Leaders Only — Not for Distribution to Group Members

Purpose of This Resource

This session helps group members understand anxiety — what it is, what causes it, and what they can do about it. Anxiety is a topic that affects most people in some way, which means it will resonate deeply with your group.

What success looks like for you as a leader:

• Creating a space where people feel safe to be honest about their struggles
• Helping members understand their anxiety patterns without fixing them
• Guiding discussion so it's meaningful without becoming overwhelming
• Knowing when something is beyond what a small group can address
• Leaving people with hope and at least one practical next step

What success does NOT look like:

• Solving anyone's anxiety problem in one session
• Providing therapy or clinical treatment
• Forcing people to share more than they're ready to
• Making anyone feel ashamed for struggling
• Promising that faith alone will eliminate anxiety

You are a facilitator, not a counselor. Your job is to guide the conversation, keep things safe, and help people connect with each other and the content. You're not responsible for fixing anyone.

Group Dynamics to Watch For

Anxiety is a sensitive topic that tends to surface specific dynamics. Here's what to look for and how to respond:

1. Over-Disclosure or Trauma Dumping

What it looks like: Someone shares an extensive trauma history, graphic details of panic attacks, or goes on at length about their struggles in a way that absorbs all the group's energy.

Why it happens: Anxiety topics can feel validating — finally, a place to be understood. Some people don't have many outlets and may not realize they're monopolizing.

How to respond:

• Thank them genuinely: "Thank you for trusting us with that. That took courage."
• Gently redirect: "I want to make sure others have a chance to share too. Can we come back to this?"
• Check in privately afterward: "I noticed this topic really resonated with you. I want to make sure you have the support you need — have you considered talking to a counselor?"

2. Panic or Severe Anxiety During the Session

What it looks like: Someone becomes visibly distressed — shallow breathing, tearfulness, physically agitated, or needing to leave the room.

Why it happens: Discussing anxiety can trigger anxiety. For some, just naming their fears activates the fear response.

How to respond:

• Stay calm yourself — your nervous system affects theirs
• Offer simple grounding: "Take a slow breath with me. Feel your feet on the floor."
• Don't draw excessive attention: "Let's give [name] a moment. Does anyone else want to share while they collect themselves?"
• Check in after: "How are you doing? Is there anything you need?"
• If someone leaves the room, have a co-leader or trusted group member follow after a few minutes to check on them

Basic grounding technique: If someone is struggling, help them notice their physical surroundings: "Name five things you can see right now. Four things you can touch. Three things you can hear." This brings them back to the present moment.

3. Intellectualizing to Avoid Feeling

What it looks like: Someone talks about anxiety in abstract, clinical terms without any personal connection. They analyze the topic but don't engage with their own experience.

Why it happens: Feeling is scary. Analyzing is safer. Some people have learned to manage hard topics by staying in their heads.

How to respond:

• Gently invite personal application: "That's a great observation. Where do you see any of that showing up in your own life?"
• Don't force it: Some people need more time to feel safe. If they stay abstract, let them. Growth takes time.

4. Spiritual Bypassing

What it looks like: Someone dismisses the practical content with religious language: "If we just trusted God more, we wouldn't feel anxious." Or they use spiritual solutions to avoid doing the harder work.

Why it happens: This may be how they've been taught. Or they're protecting themselves from the vulnerability of admitting they struggle.

How to respond:

• Affirm faith while adding nuance: "Faith is definitely important. And God seems to also work through community, through growth, through the practical steps we can take. How might both be true?"
• Don't argue or correct harshly — this person may be struggling more than they're showing

5. Comparing Pain

What it looks like: "At least you don't have to deal with..." or minimizing their own struggle because someone else's seems worse.

Why it happens: Anxiety sufferers often feel shame about their struggles. Comparing is a way to manage that shame.

How to respond:

• Normalize: "There's no ranking of pain. Your experience matters. It doesn't have to be the worst thing imaginable to be real and hard."

6. Offering Unsolicited Advice

What it looks like: One member starts coaching another: "Have you tried...?" "You should really..." "What you need to do is..."

Why it happens: People want to help. They feel anxious when others are struggling and try to fix it.

How to respond:

• Gently redirect: "It's kind of you to want to help. In this group, we try to focus on listening and sharing our own experiences rather than giving advice to each other. Let's let [name] finish their thought."

How to Keep the Group Safe

What to Redirect (With Specific Language)

What NOT to Force or Push

• Don't push people to share if they're quiet
• Don't push for details about trauma, panic attacks, or painful history
• Don't push anyone to pray out loud or participate in ways they're not ready for
• Don't push for resolution or "happy endings" — some people leave still wrestling, and that's okay

Holding Space Without Becoming a Therapist

Your role is to:

• Listen without fixing
• Reflect back what you hear: "It sounds like..."
• Validate feelings: "That makes sense. That sounds really hard."
• Point to resources: "This sounds significant. Have you considered talking to a counselor about it?"

Your role is NOT to:

• Diagnose what's wrong with someone
• Provide treatment plans or clinical advice
• Be available 24/7 for crisis support
• Process someone's trauma with them

Key phrase to remember: "You are a facilitator, not a counselor."

Common Misinterpretations to Correct

"Anxiety is a faith problem"

Gentle correction: "Anxiety affects people of deep faith, too. It's not usually a sign that something is spiritually wrong. Faith and practical growth work often go together — we can trust God while also doing the work to address what's causing our anxiety."

"If I just avoided everything that makes me anxious, I'd be fine"

Gentle correction: "That's such a natural response — avoidance makes the anxiety go down in the moment. The tricky part is that over time, avoidance actually reinforces the anxiety and makes our world smaller. The path forward is usually moving toward what we fear, not away from it."

"I shouldn't need medication — I should be able to handle this through faith/willpower"

Gentle correction: "Medication isn't a sign of failure. For some types of anxiety, the brain is wired in a way that medication can genuinely help stabilize. Taking medication for anxiety is no different than taking medication for any other medical condition. It can be part of a healthy treatment approach."

"Anxiety is just stress — I need to work on time management"

Gentle correction: "Stress and anxiety are actually different. Stress comes from external demands and usually decreases when those demands change. Anxiety is more internal — it's your system staying in alarm mode even when there's no immediate threat. They require different responses."

"I just need to think positively"

Gentle correction: "Positive thinking has its place, but anxiety isn't usually solved by thinking different thoughts. It's more about addressing the underlying patterns — attachment wounds, control issues, catastrophizing tendencies — and building skills to respond differently."

When to Recommend Outside Support

Signs Someone May Need More Than a Small Group Can Provide

• Panic attacks happening regularly
• Unable to function in daily life (work, relationships, basic tasks)
• Talking about self-harm or suicidal thoughts (this is urgent — see below)
• Severe trauma that keeps surfacing
• Substance use to manage anxiety
• Anxiety that has persisted severely for months without improvement
• Physical symptoms that haven't been medically evaluated

How to Have That Conversation (Without Shame)

Do:

• Have this conversation privately, not in front of the group
• Affirm them: "I really appreciate you being part of this group and being so honest."
• Normalize: "What you're describing is more than a small group can really address. That's not a criticism of you — it just means you deserve more specialized support."
• Be specific: "Have you considered seeing a counselor or therapist? This seems like something where professional support could really help."
• Offer practical help: "Would it help if I sent you some names of counselors in the area?"

Don't:

• Make them feel broken or like a problem
• Suggest this means they can't be in the group
• Promise confidentiality you can't keep (see below)
• Try to provide the professional help yourself

Suggested language:

• "This sounds like something really important, and I wonder if a counselor could help you go deeper with it."
• "You're dealing with a lot. What you're describing is beyond what I'm equipped to help with in this setting, but I know people who specialize in this. Would you be open to exploring that?"

If Someone Mentions Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts

This changes everything. You cannot promise confidentiality in this situation.

• Stay calm and take it seriously
• Ask directly: "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?"
• Don't leave them alone if they're in immediate danger
• Help them connect with professional support (crisis line, counselor, ER if necessary)
• Tell them you care about them too much to keep this completely private — you need to involve someone who can help
• Follow up with your pastor or church leadership about next steps

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (call or text)

Timing and Pacing Guidance

Suggested Session Flow (90 minutes)

Questions to Prioritize If Time Is Short

If you only have time for a few questions, prioritize:

1. Question 3 (which of the four sources resonates?) — this is the core application
2. Question 6 (what are you avoiding?) — this gets practical
3. Question 8 (how strong is your support system?) — this drives action

Where the Conversation May Get Stuck

At the four sources of anxiety: Some people want to analyze all four intellectually. Gently redirect: "Which one do you recognize in yourself?"

At childhood/history: This can become a venting session about difficult parents. Acknowledge the pain briefly, then redirect: "How does this show up for you now as an adult?"

At "I don't have anxiety": Some people in your group genuinely may not struggle with this. Let them support others. Or gently probe: "Is there any area where you notice yourself avoiding something out of discomfort, even if you wouldn't call it anxiety?"

At solutions: People may want quick fixes. Remind them: "This is growth work. There's no switch to flip, but there are real steps we can take."

Leader Encouragement

You don't have to have all the answers tonight. You don't have to solve anyone's anxiety. You don't have to be the expert.

Your job is to:

• Show up
• Create safety
• Guide the conversation
• Point people toward hope and practical next steps
• Know when something is beyond your scope

That's it. If you do those things, you've led well.

This is hard content. You may feel anxious yourself — that's normal. You may hear things tonight that stay with you. If you're carrying something heavy after the session, process it with a trusted friend or your own support system. Leaders need support too.

Thank you for caring about the people in your group. That care matters more than perfect facilitation.

Quick Reference Card

If someone is panicking: Stay calm. Slow breath together. Grounding (5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear). Don't over-attend but don't ignore.

If someone is over-sharing: Thank them. Redirect gently. Check in privately after.

If someone mentions self-harm: Take it seriously. Ask directly. Don't promise confidentiality. Connect with professional help. Tell leadership.

If advice-giving starts: "Let's focus on our own stories rather than advising each other."

Core reminder: You are a facilitator, not a counselor. Creating safety and connection is success.